paulsenland

Update on Lil Heads...

2011-09-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

So my theory seems to be working. This past weekend I had a whole bunch of lil heads in my booth. I believe my final numbers were 13 lil heads sold vs 3 big heads sold. My new magnets didn't generate much buzz, but I think once I re-arrange my booth and get them more present they should catch some more eyes. Also hard at work on beads and pendents. I'm determined to get a piece of that jewelry pie, guys.

Update on wind chimes: Almost there. Lot's of setbacks with this project, but once I finally get it figured out it should be successful.

Update on masks: I believe this weekend I'll have a few wearable masks in my booth. This is a project I'm very excited about it, and if I log enough hours and get more familiar with the materials and whatnot, this thing could be my go-to item. My goal is to offer them in my booth for Halloween season and see what kind of response I get. If it's a favorable respose then I would spend 6 weeks in New Orleans this winter selling them on the streets, then start up the new season at Saturday Market. While in New Orleans my goal would be to sell masks, establish a pipeline with a shop or two that would carry my masks, and hopefully find a place that would want to show and sell my ceramic art. I doubt any of this will happen. However, I am getting a smidge better at reaching goals these days.

paulsen

Lil Heads...

2011-08-31T11:41:00.000-07:00

My plan for this week was to make as many small heads as I could. So far I've made 17. I'd like to have 30 ready to put in the kiln by friday. Pretty sure I can reach that goal. I've also made a bunch more magnets, and in a different style than before. For this new magnet series I'm using my colored slips and I'm drawing/carving on the clay to create the flowers. I'm hoping to expand it to stuff other than flowers. Today I'm going to attempt to make a little magnet picture of Mt Hood, as well as one that features the state outline of Oregon. Yes, I'm making touristy things. Fuck off. I'm trying to operate a successful business here. I figure I can sell out up to 25% and still maintain my dignity. I haven't yet turned my heads into key holders, so back off.

paulsen

Television Update...

2011-08-30T15:14:00.000-07:00

I figure since I claim to be a fan of television in my blog header I should devote a blog to it. Here's what I've been watching lately, and what I'm looking forward to...

Currently Watching:

Curb -- I love this show so much that I'm willing to publicly out myself as a douche and call it "Curb". This season has been excellent. Larry is totally divorced from Cheryl and it seems to have unleashed a fierce comedic creativity into the show. The latest episode, which was shot in NYC, was great. Seeing Larry and Jeff drive around in a old Volvo with a periscope was awesome. And I laughed out loud (lol) last week when Leon showed up in Larry's hotel room, threw open the drapes, and asked "What's up New York?!!!" I also find it refreshing that there seems to be no ongoing theme, unless you count going to NY as a theme. Sad there's only two eps left, guys.

Breaking Bad-- I won't say much because this is one of those shows everyone will catch up on at some point. This season seems to be better than the previous three for some reason. It seems like they're going all out with the camera angles, lack of dialogue, mood, tension, suspense, all that shit. Can't wait to see where it's heading. Each week makes me more nervous about where it's going.

The Glades--- This show isn't the greatest, but it involves a detective solving a murder every week and I like that stuff. And it's set and filmed in South Florida, which I appreciate. I have a crush on the lead actress on this show. She played Bullock's girlfriend in The Perfect Getaway. Each week the murder is pretty well crafted and it's fun to try and figure out whodunnit.

Entourage--- I hate this show, yet I've seen every episode. So glad it's almost over and I can be done with these assholes forever. Or, at least, until they make a movie. Dice Clay has been involved in the storyline this season. I can't stand him. I hate this show, yet I can't quit it. The only thing that will save this show, in my opinion, is if Sloan whips out those funbags. Nips and all. Preferably while wearing pegged blue jeans and high heels.

That's about it, I think. Not much on right now. However, a new tv season is around the corner and it's full of watchable stuff...

Parks and Recreation
The Office
Community
Criminal Minds
Bored to Death
Mad Men
Boardwalk Empire
Modern Family
Monday Night Football
Sons of Anarchy
Parenthood
The Good Wife

Those are just the returning shows. There's also a whole slew of new stuff that I'll be trying out once they premiere. Until then...

paulsen

New new plan...

2011-08-30T14:51:00.000-07:00

Now I'm thinking it might behoove me to offer some heads at a more affordable price. I've noticed that I always sell the smaller heads, so I'm planning on making a whole bunch of smaller sized heads. I'm thinking I'll have some that are $20, as well as continuing to offer some heads in the $30-40 range. So far this week I've made 13 small heads. Hopefully I'll have them in my booth this weekend and can test my new new business plan. That being said, I still plan on offering more non-head items. First though, I want to build up inventory on the small heads.

New Plan...

2011-08-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday Market has been kicking my ass lately. Rather than fight it and continue to have spotty sales, I've decided to alter my business plan. The new plan is to decrease focus on the heads, while increasing focus on more accessible items. I'll be making a strong push towards garden art (wind chimes, bird feeders, things like that). Also will be focusing more on the colorful bowls. Making some bigger, making some more suitable for food, etc. Plan is to still keep heads in the booth, but less heads. I'll probably have one rack of small heads, one rack of big heads, and one rack of medium heads. I'm hoping to have all this sorted out by the end of August. I should add though, that I'm planning on getting my heads into galleries. I think that's where they belong. The Johnson family that's visiting from Ohio doesn't give a shit about my heads. And I'm tired of families making goofy ass comments about my art. So, that's an update on where my head is at when it comes to my booth. Now I have to get busy making wind chimes.

Defeated,

paulsen

Internet...

2011-08-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

I've been logging quite a few hours lately trying to establish an internet identity. I'm finding the whole thing to be a bit confusing. I've reached this conclusion: I need a proper website that has links to my blog, etsy, facebook, twitter, and email. I thought I could accomplish this by just using a blog, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Shit, I'll probably have to open a flickr account too. Bear with me, guys. Soon enough the internet version of myself will be organized and confident. Until then....

paulsen

One Year...

2011-06-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I've been blogging here at paulsenland for nearly one year. I promise to not have so many vacant months in my blog calendar this year.

Here's one of the other heads I sold last week at the market. This was a companion piece to the one I regrettably sold to the kid from Vancouver, BC. This one was purchased by someone from Olympia, I think...

It was encouraging that I sold both of those heads in the same weekend. Here's what was learned from those two selling:

1. I need to make more heads like this, which I did. Made three of them yesterday.

2. They sold for an average of $105. Good to know I can get away with charging that much for a single head.

Happy Anniversary,

paulsen

Ceramic Fish...

2011-06-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

Last week I ventured out of my comfort zone and decided to come up with a new product for my booth. I wanted to make something that i thought would appeal to some of the folks that are turned off by my heads (which is plenty, btw). I thought, "I'm in the NW, lots of fish, people buy fish trinkets, maybe I should make some ceramic fish." So I made some fish. They're not as crazy as my heads, but they still bear my unique markings. Not sure how they'll do at the market. I suppose I'll find out this weekend when I unveil them for the first time. Here's a sneak peek...

A reminder: season premiere of Men of a Certain Age is tonight.

Love That Show,

paulsen

Blogging...

2011-06-01T11:31:00.000-07:00

I'm planning on trying to blog more often. I feel like my twitter account has rendered blogging useless, which is a shame because I used to love blogging back in the myspace days. So, in an effort to not let my writing "skills" further atrophy, I will be making a conscious effort to blog more. Look at that. Atrophy, man. I can't figure out where the damn commas go. How the hell am I supposed to fix that? I can fix a misspelled word, but a comma? That's going to require a lot of legwork on my own. Ugghh.

Here's a picture of my favorite piece. I sold it for a hundred bucks last weekend at Portland Saturday Market. I felt horrible afterwards because I wanted to keep it for my own collection, but the kid who bought it really wanted it. It was the first time he had ever bought a piece of art. And he lives in Vancouver, BC, which is kind of cool. That city is on my bucket list.

I remember now why I stopped blogging. It just took four minutes to retrieve that photo. #needtofixmycomputer

Dang it, this isn't twitter. Stop hashtagging.

Blogging,

paulsen

flower magnets...

2011-02-23T20:55:00.000-08:00

Last week I made a bunch of little flowers. I intend to turn these into little ceramic flower magnets (LCFM). These will be my low priced items once I set up shop at the Saturday Market. Not sure how they will be received. I know a couple of my former co-workers seemed to like them. It would be nice if I could cover my booth fee every week with LCFM sales. If my math is correct I'd need to sell about nine LCFMs each week to accomplish that. That doesn't sound too outrageous. Here's a team photo...

mini birds...

2011-02-15T14:58:00.000-08:00

I've been making some mini birds lately. I call them brokaws, but it's becoming a pain in the ass to explain what a brokaw is every time I list one for sale or whatnot. So I'll just dumb it down for now and call it a mini bird. Look for a detailed web log post regarding brokaws in the near future. In the mean time here's some mini birds. They're about three or four inches in height. Again, mini birds....

WTF...

2011-02-15T11:10:00.000-08:00

WTF is going on here...

WTF...

2011-02-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

WTF is going on here...

WTF...

2011-02-15T11:02:00.000-08:00

WTF is going on here?

Tales of the Unemployed...

2011-02-15T10:56:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last six weeks or so being unemployed. Overall it's been kind of boring. I miss interacting with human beings, even if I generally don't care for them too much. My laughs per day (LPD) have dropped significantly since my layoff. However, being unemployed has allowed me some time to explore other life options. One of those options has been manscaping. I finally have the time to sculpt my body hair in ways I could only imagine while I was employed. Last week I realized a dream I've held for nearly 20 years when I sculpted the timeless "man in the maze" Native American design into my pubic hair. It took me four and a half hours to complete, which is weird because I've never spent more than an hour on any of my ceramic sculptures. I was quite pleased with the results. So pleased I photographed my work in an effort to archive one of my greatest works. In the interest of decency, I will not post the pictures here on my blog. Just know that I was very pleased with my work. Another life option I've been exploring is physical fitness via a gymnasium membership. I've been easing into this life option, mostly just using the treadmill and stairmaster. After two weeks of just focusing on those activities I graduated to using the body shaping machines, focusing mostly on my arms. I've never been confident with the toning on my arms. I started feeling so good about myself that last week I decided I would swim laps in the pool. I even purchased some swimming goggles. After a light workout on the treadmill I ventured into the locker room to change into my swim trunks. I should note that I don't have a whole lot of locker room experience. It's a place I've tried to avoid my whole life. I decided I would avoid all eye contact and get out of there ASAP (as soon as possible). I found a locker stall, got my swim trunks out, then disrobed. It was at this moment that some guy walked into the locker room and stopped in his tracks. He was standing ten feet in front of me. I was topless, my gym shorts around my ankles, and too startled to grab a towel to cover myself. The man then made eye contact with me, smiled, and pointed at my private parts. He asked me, "Hey man, are you Yavapai? I'm Pasqua Yaqui."

Books...

2011-01-24T21:04:00.000-08:00

My mom informed me that she just finished reading her latest book. It was called 'Sins and Needles'. The book she read last week was called 'Sticks and Scones'. My mom is a huge fan of pun literature.

Dave...

2011-01-08T02:42:00.000-08:00

This is just a test to see if you are actually reading my web log. You gave me sh*t for not posting enough, yet I can't even tell if you are reading this ridiculous area of the web. I'll say this this...your family policy on no one wearing shoes in the house is going to cause an accident. All it's gong to take is a guest to reenact Billie Jean and there's going to be a fall. Your floors are too clean, Scuff em up, bra.

Scuff,

paulsen

Cashier Tales...

2011-01-07T10:38:00.000-08:00

The day after Christmas I went to the gas station to purchase gasoline and a fountain drink. When I approached the cashier the guy said to me, "How you doing, man?" I said, "I'm doing all right. How 'bout you?" The cashier then says, "Oh, I'm doing good except I punctured my hand yesterday trying to open up a Christmas gift." I offer up to the cashier a folksy "I hope it was a good gift". The cashier lit up as he said, "Oh, it was! I'm a huge Indianapolis Colts fan and my girlfriend got me some Colts floormats for my truck."

New Plowl...

2011-01-02T10:48:00.000-08:00

I've been making a bunch of platter/shallow bowls/plates. I'm not sure what I should call them. For now I'm calling them plowls. Here's an example of one of the first ones I made. I think Erica in Customer Service bought this one.

Cashier Tales...

2010-12-30T00:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to the gas station to buy gas and a fountain drink. I walked into the store and filled up my cup with diet coke, then went to the register to buy the drink and thirty dollars worth of gasoline. The total came to $30.85. I presented the cashier with a hundred dollar bill, which prompted her to ask "Do you have anything smaller than that?" I immediately quipped, "that's what she said." She then let loose with the most sarcastic "ha, ha, ha" I have ever heard, which led me to believe that she must hear that sort of thing all the time in her line of work.

WTF...

2010-12-03T20:17:00.000-08:00

WTF is going on here? I stumbled upon this little beauty in a Japanese import shop in Astoria, OR a couple of years ago. Seems kind of....odd?

WTF...

2010-12-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

WTF is going on here? How does this happen?

My favorite head...

2010-11-23T23:25:00.000-08:00

I've been a head making maniac (HMM) in 2010. I'm not sure how many I've made, but I guesstimate the number to be between 50-70. It seems like I should have a better idea of how many I have made. Perhaps I should take inventory. In the meantime, as of this posting, I think this is my favorite 2010 model so far...

Lowest form of conversation...

2010-11-23T21:13:00.000-08:00

According to Tony Soprano, the lowest form of conversation is "remember when". Some people say it's anything related to the weather. I say nay. I think there's no lower form of conversation than someone recounting their dreams to another person. Your dreams are only interesting to yourself (YDAOITY). I may throw that one in my potential bumper stickers file. So far I have "liberal bumper sticker" and "I Heart Mormon Pussy". I also don't like when people describe a particular traffic situation to another person. That one requires too much work for the person listening. They have to envision various right and left turn lanes, medians, four way stops, etc. It's too much, folks. Too much. I don't want to think when you're talking to me. And don't tell people any prepared jokes. It puts too much pressure on the listener. It makes the listener mindful of keeping eye contact, not laughing too early, waiting for the punchline, maintaining eye contact, then they get distracted and realize they haven't been listening to the set-up and they're not going to have any idea when they are supposed to laugh because the punchline is not going to make sense. It's awful. Stop telling jokes. I could go on and on. Something that I don't want to go on and on is this cold snap! Man alive, is it cold outside! Goodness gracious, my car said it was 23 degrees outside while I was commuting home tonight. I know this because I was stuck at a traffic light for ten minutes tonight. It was ridiculous. We were in a single lane that was backed up quite a bit. I gathered that the traffic trying to turn right in our lane was affected by the southbound traffic being backed in the intersecting street. Meanwhile, all I needed to do was get in the left turn lane. Thing is, we were backed up and I couldn't reach the turn lane. I was about three cars behind where the turn starts, but we weren't moving, so I couldn't get to it. It was frustrating to say the least. But while I was sitting there in traffic I was afforded some time to think about stuff. I was thinking about how I was looking forward to getting home and watching the latest episode of Boardwalk Empire. I very much enjoy having a television show in my life. I remember when the final episodes of The Sopranos were airing, I absolutely could not wait for Sunday nights. I remember watching that final episode and looking at my clock and realizing that there's probably only a couple of minutes left in the show, then that Journey song came, Tony keeps looking up to see who's coming into the diner, and everyone coming in looks kind of familiar, and Meadow can't parallel park her car, why is that guy looking at Tony like that and why can't Meadow park her car already. Oh, it was intense. I just remember sitting there after it ended. All I could do was stare at the tv screen. I remember being really sad, yet satisfied. Something that did not leave me satisfied was waking up this morning. I was having this dream where I was back bussing tables at The Hungry Hunter. It's weird, but working at the Hungry Hunter is the only recurring dream I've ever had in my life. I've been having them for the past few years. This one was like all the others. It was present time and my first day back at Hungry Hunter after having not worked there for years and years. A lot of the same people were there that I worked with back in the day, yet I don't know their names, just their faces. There were also new employees working who I didn't know. This dream was just like the others, in that I was thrown into the rush hour and I couldn't perform my bussing duties in the efficient manner that I was used to. I suspect it's similar to what star athletes feel when they no longer can perform at a high level.

paulsen

PS Q:How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Some obscure number you've never heard of.

a quote...

2010-11-23T00:04:00.000-08:00

"I got a bigger dick than that."

--Zach Galifianakis

Dear Dave...

2010-11-22T23:52:00.000-08:00

I hope I haven't hyped Death Ray too much. Listen to a few, let it marinate, then report back to me. I don't understand why the hat photo didn't work. It worked for the first few hours I had the post up. Maybe Ed Hardy caught wind that I was goofing on his company and he had the photo pulled. Ed Hardy probably has a lot of pull. It seems like a lot of dudes really admire his style. That reminds me, I've been meaning to ask you something. Do people ever stop you and ask, "Sir, you have an uncanny resemblance to my great grandfather. My family has his Ellis Island photos, fresh off the boat from Italy, and he's wearing the exact same hat that you are wearing. Is there any chance I could take a photo with you? Sadly, my great grandfather was killed during the first World War and my family has no photos of him with any family members. My grandmother is still alive and I'm sure she would be thrilled to have a picture of you and I together." I suspect this happens to you every time you go to Target?

Love,

paulsen

A hat for Dave...

2010-11-21T09:11:00.000-08:00

Dave, I found a hat that would look pretty good on you. It's by a brand named "Ed Hardy" and it screams sophistication, class, and subtlety (SCS). If you don't like the dragon theme, that's okay because they have lots of other themes to choose from. They have eagles, bears, and tigers. They even have classy sailor tattoo themed hats. I've built up enough store credit to buy any item priced $30 or less at half price. I could totally get you one. Let me know, k?

B and A...

2010-11-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

Before.....

And after.....

Glazing is fun,

paulsen

Sgraffito style...

2010-10-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's taken me this long to try out this style, but I'm glad I finally have. Sgraffito, where have you been all of my life? I look forward to pursuing you, Sgraffito...

New Heads...

2010-09-18T22:49:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a new line of heads. Plaster inspired me to put my little flowers that I like making so much in the eye sockets of my heads. So I gave it a shot and I liked the results. Here's the first one, and by being the first head in a new series this head will enjoy the status as a never-for-sale piece. It's mine all mine. So far I've made six of them. They are all taking on a Day of the Dead kind of vibe. Here's number one...

And speaking of Plaster, she was kind enough to let me make some head portraits of she and her husband...

In exchange, she was kind enough to paint a topless portrait of my favorite local newscaster....

For some reason I couldn't find the picture of it. I'll need to make a mental note to document that painting. In the mean time I found this picture, which happens to be my favorite painting. Paul Gauguin's 'Woman with a Flower'...

A reminder from Cyclenerd....

2010-09-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

Remember to keep an eye out for motorcycles and bicycles when you're out on the road. They can be hard to see sometimes. And for you motorcyclists, remember to wear the proper gear and brush up with a defensive riding course from time to time.

"I'd rather go riding than not",

Cyclenerd

Little Book...

2010-09-10T18:03:00.000-07:00

I noticed that a co-worker brought in a new trinket for display. It's a tiny little book. A tiny little Webster's dictionary. In an effort to provide scale I took a picture of it with my fingers holding it

The first time I saw this little book I opened it up and was confronted with a word I know all too well. Misanthrope: a person that hates mankind. Seeing that reminded me that for Halloween last year I dressed up as a heavyset, drunken Larry David.....

Graffiti...

2010-09-10T17:48:00.000-07:00

A graffiti artist struck the neighborhood I work in. Every time I walk over it I ponder. Just like the Double Rainbow Guy, I wonder "what does it mean?"

Before and After...

2010-09-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

These are always fun. For me, at least. Here's a pre-glaze shot........

Followed by the post-glaze shot..........

RIP...

2010-08-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago one of my heads went to head heaven. I keep about fifty of my heads hanging on the wall where I work. There was a glaze spill in the area where this fella was residing. My co-worker brought the mop out and accidentally knocked over my guy with the mop handle. Luckily, I documented him some time back. I remember he was one of the first heads I made after my three year break from ceramics. During that break I did a number of landscaping projects and started my old myspace blog. Those two activities were enough to satisfy my creativity, so ceramics took a back seat for a while. Then, in 08, I ordered a bag of terra cotta clay in an effort to get back on the ceramic horse. They ended up sending me eight bags of clay. I took this as a sign that I was supposed to be making a bunch of ceramic stuff. And make a bunch of ceramic stuff I did. I tore through those eight bags of terra cotta clay, making enough terra cotta pieces that, I suspect, when my work is viewed in chronological order, this particular stretch will be called my "terra cotta era". Anyway, I really liked this guy. He was on of my faves and I'm sorry he's gone. Sometimes I get attached to the heads that I make, and this was definitely one of them. God Speed, terra cotta green haired guy with the big black eye. You will be missed....

And here's a shot after I pulled his remains out of the garbage:

My co-worker felt really bad about the accident, partly because this was the second time he had accidentally killed one of my heads. He insisted on buying me something to make up for my loss, so he bought me a 3-D plastic rendering of Jon Bon Jovi's shoulder tattoo:

I'm Sure Jon Bon's Skull Will Feel Right at Home Alongside my Plastic Dreamcatcher,

paulsen

Gone Heads (GH)...

2010-08-15T10:26:00.000-07:00

These fellas were all sold or bartered over the last couple of months. I'm really hoping they are enjoying their new homes.

This guy was bartered with. A neighbor chopped down my tree and he received this for his troubles:

Unfortunately, I failed to photograph some of the heads. I hate when I do that. I have a whole lost generation of stuff floating around out there because I was too lazy to document my work. A lot of stuff from the late nineties that I sold at the end-of-semester pottery sales at college are totally gone. I probably only documented twenty percent of my work back then, and I was prolific. I practically lived at the ceramic lab. I blame having a digital camera that I didn't know how to use. However, if I ever get around to developing my rolls of film from the late nineties, I should be able to corral a large number of pieces that only exist in my memory right now. I really should get those films developed before that outdated technology doesn't exist anymore, if it doesn't already. Damn it, I hate knowing there's a number of GH out there that I don't have documented. Bums me out, man.

Always Document Your Work,

paulsen

I Captured Osama Bin Laden...

2010-08-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

Don't worry. He's in a safe place and you will be able to buy him soon at www.3sevens.etsy.com

paulsen

Twitter account...

2010-08-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

In an effort to increase my presence on the web, I've opened up a twitter account. Unfortunately, I don't have one of those smart phones so my on-the-scene tweeting capabilities will be rendered useless. Still....

http://twitter.com/clpaulsen

The Clothes Department at the Truck Stop...

2010-08-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of months ago I stopped off at one of the truck stops in Troutdale to buy a fountain drink. I had spent the previous four hours hiking and the last hour of that hike thinking of nothing but how refreshing a fountain drink would be. I reached the truck stop and was pleasantly surprised to see that they shared real estate with Popeye's. In addition to my fountain drink I was able to sample a Popeye's Po Boy chicken sandwich, which was really good. I even kept the pickles on the sandwich so as to experience the Po Boy the way God intended. I must say, I think I may turn into a pickle guy. Oddly enough, I had my first pickle at a truck stop about four years ago. I believe my buddy Dave documented the event in photographic form. That's probably the only "first" in my life that's ever been captured. Speaking of capturing images, here's some shots I took of the clothes they sell at the Troutdale Truck Stop....

For people that only purchase Christian items:

This would probably go best with a nice denim mini:

I love funny shirts. My buddy Packy's dad wears a shirt that says "What part of 'you don't get it' don't you get?" This one is less complicated but just as clever and funny:

They also had some rock and roll shirts for sale. I narrowed my choices to these two:

I ended up purchasing the Skynyrd shirt because I really like Skynyrd. However, I can't wear it in public because of the whole Confederate flag thing. And it's Skynyrd, so people would probably think I'm trying to be ironic or something. Which leads me declare that from here on out I will only wear solid colored t-shirts, preferably from Banana Republic or Eddie Bauer. I've sampled those brands and determined they make a fine product. In the interest of full disclosure, I should add that my Drive By Trucker t-shirts, as well as my North Face sport-fit t-shirts will still be in my rotation under a Grandfather Clause. So really what I'm saying is this: all future t-shirt purchases will be of solid color with no advertisements. I suspect this will make me appear mysterious, but that's okay.

Keep on Truckin',

paulsen

Book idea....

2010-08-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

Someone should go and take pictures of flaggers at construction sites and make a book. Actually that sounds totally outdated. It would probably be more apropo to just make a website dedicated to flaggers. Here's my entry:

Photo Blog...

2010-08-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of George Washington's nose:

Race Studies...

2010-08-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

Last month I went to the shop on a Sunday. I went with the intentions of logging some hours in the studio and banging out heads. When I got to the shop and started to unload my tools, I realized I had left everything at home. So I decided to sit in my car and listen to the Stern show, which kept me occupied for a few hours. During those few hours I noticed a trend: There was a steady stream of Latino Americans parking their cars in SE Industrial and walking towards the Esplanade. The following day I asked my co-worker Ignacio why there were so many Latinos in the neighborhood. He told me there was a concert by some rock band that has a large following in Mexico. They were playing in a tent on one of the vacant lots that the city owns. So it all made sense. The Latinos came out in droves to the SE Industrial area to watch a concert by a Mexican rock and roll band. Here's some mental notes I took during my few hours of Latino gazing....

---A large majority of the guys had very ordinary cars with shiny after-market rims.

---A large majority of the guys had those new fangled MMA inspired t-shirts. Lots of skulls and lettering on the back. Lots of stuff going on with the t-shirts. I'm not sure where they sell these shirts, but I see them frequently. Next time I'm at Fred Meyer I'll look for them and try one on. I predict I'll feel like a tough guy but look like a douche.

---A large majority of the gals had toddlers in tow. The gals were also very small. Some of them appeared disgruntled and put upon.

---Much like 'The Jersey Shore', it seemed as though the guys put more effort into their appearance than the gals. I'm starting to think this is a trend that's not going to go away. I first became aware of the "guys turning into chicks" theory last summer when 'Jersey Shore' premiered. I noticed further evidence this summer when I spent a few days with my old pal Jason. Jason tans, talks about where to get good deals on clothes, wears jewelry, openly raved about the new hair product he just discovered, and he insisted on wearing sandals with jeans. Jason 1998 would have made fun of Jason 2010 for sure. And then the theory was reenforced recently with the Latino guys. Guys in this country are slowly but surely acquiring feminine traits, and it appears to not be relegated to a particular race. As evidence I point to the Italian Americans on 'Jersey Shore', the Latino Americans of the Portland area, and my white friend Jason.

GTL,

paulsen

Weight gain...

2010-07-28T00:02:00.000-07:00

From the photos I've seen it looks like half the cast of Jersey Shore has gained some weight since last summer.

I Think I had Enough Characters to Tweet This Post,

paulsen

Titty Licker Cunt Manipulater (TLCM)...

2010-07-26T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised blogger allowed me to have NO tiltle on the previous post, yet found this one okay.

Mel Gibson is THE Man,

paulsen

PS Mel Gibson is being railroaded. Sure, he's a dick. But c'mon....

2010-07-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

This is a good thing that this whole Chris Paul thing didn't go down. If he's in Portland it drives everyone to him when people do a google search of "Chris Paulsen, Portland". I need those two people looking for me, not him. Fuck Chris Paul (sen).

Don't Give up Batum for the Love of God,

paulsen

Nectarine and Chicken Salad...

2010-07-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I cleaned out the fridge and put together a pretty decent salad. So decent that I'm willing to share the recipe on my web log:

Bed of baby spinach and green leaf lettuce
two nectarines
two ears of corn (grilled on the bbq)
two chicken breasts (teriyaki marinade, grilled on bbq)
ten stalks of asparagus (grilled on bbq)
two slices of swiss cheese (cut into little bitty pieces)
half a cucumber (diced)

dressing:

the juice and gatherings from an overripe mango (squeezed through a sieve)
a splash of cran/strawberry/banana juice
tablespoon of cream cheese

In hindsight I should have thrown some nuts in there. And the swiss cheese part would probably work better with one of those fancy dry crumbled cheeses.

Enjoy,

paulsen

Stuff on my ipod...

2010-06-21T20:08:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I was listening to my ipod and I stumbled upon Enya's Greatest Hits. I listened to the whole thing and I loved it. I didn't even bother to stop listening while I moved my bowels. And that made me wonder if any guy, or gal, had ever listened to Enya with the headphones on while taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. I can see listening to Enya while prancing through the forest. I can imagine someone listened to Enya while painting. I am certain Enya has been heard while sex is being peformed. Penetrative, as well as oral, although it seems like it would be rude to wear headphones while that is happening. I can see some goth kid having a midnight picinc at a graveyard while listening to Enya. I've actually done that before, but I was listening to the Gin Blossoms when it happened. Surely, somewhere last week a woman north of thirty five listened to Enya while gardening, but I doubt that she took a grumpy while listening to Enya. No way.

Book Club...

2010-06-21T08:05:00.000-07:00

I received some books from the library this weekend. The first book I started reading is called "Inside Delta Force". It's written by this fella who was one of the founding charter members of the elite counterterrorism unit known as Delta Force. This book is making me feel like a pussy. If I finish this book I'm going to have to read "Superfudge" immediately afterwards to feel better about myself.

Comments...

2010-06-12T14:07:00.000-07:00

I just checked Bill Simmon's Twitter page to see what he had to say about the World Cup match. There was a link on one of his tweets to an article in US Weekly that mentions something that Adam Carolla said on Simmon's podcast. Corolla mentioned that maybe Jennifer Aniston thinks like a man, and that might be why she's single at 41. He also made a joke about her sleeping her way through Hollywood, Gerard Butler style. Pretty tame stuff really. But I was more interested in the comments that this "story" produced. Here's one that caught my eye:

this kind chauvinstic men, that why jen has many attackers from losers like this and many other loosrs.who can'nt handle strong single successful woman. it shows from thier statment.

A Full Day...(part one)

2010-06-12T13:46:00.000-07:00

Last week it stopped raining for one day. I decided to take advantage of the weather and make a day of it. Here's a breakdown of the comings and goings:

I cooked a breakfast of french toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and grapes which I washed down with a glass of milk. I then headed to the bathroom and performed my daily ablutions, which afforded me the opportunity to thumb through my hiking book and pick out a spot to go visit. I decided I would head out to the Angel's Rest trail out in the Gorge. The description sounded pleasing and relatively easy, and seeings how it was my first hike of the season "easy" sounded pretty good to me. Before I could leave though I needed to tend to some household chores. I unloaded the dishwasher, then mowed the lawn in record time. Usually I prefer to add some flair with the mower marks, going in S curves and stuff like that, but seeings how time was of the essence I kept it fairly pedestrian:

After the lawn was mowed I packed my backpack with a bottle of water, towel, ipod, and a big bag of trail mix. I fired up DBT's "Southern Rock Opera" disc one as I hit the road and headed for the Gorge. On the way out there I happened to have my camera ready when I passed Jesse James (the disgraced Nazi memorabilia collecting reality TV star who cheated on my Hollywood girlfriend, not the train robber):

When I arrived at the trail head I realized that I wasn't the only one who thought it would be a neat idea to go hiking at Angel's Rest. There must have been at least a hundred cars total, many spilling out of the parking area onto the side road. I mentally prepared myself for the onslaught of polite "hellos" that was going to be required once the hike gets under way. The hike entailed an elevation gain of 1600 ft, which didn't look that daunting when I saw it in the book. Neither did the 4.6 miles round trip. I quickly realized that it was going to be daunting for me because I'm a giant baby and I hate walking uphill. To get to where the angels rest, I was going to need to walk a whole bunch of uphill. Great. Here's some thoughts I had while hiking:

1. What is the exact etiquette on the trail when it comes to passing? On the way up I was submissive to the folks walking down, but I seemed to be the only one in either direction being submissive. When I was on my descent I realized that it's much more difficult to stop and let people pass while going downhill. Yet, no one was stopping for me while I was heading downhill. Even if I figure out the proper etiquette I doubt anyone else will. That is, unless they post signs on the trail that remind folks to yield to those going downhill. Even then, I doubt it would do much because....

2. There were a number of bros, or dudes, on the trail. Most were topless, husky, and tattooed poorly (THTP). They seemed to have zero interest in saying hello or yielding. They were typical bros, or dudes.

3. I was reminded how refreshing stream water can be. On the way down I stopped off at the stream crossing and splashed my face numerous times. I felt like a million bucks afterwards. I was also able to wash my hands, which were sticky from snacking on my giant bag of trail mix. A simple pleasure for sure.

4. Every time I go anywhere in the Gorge I always see a large group of Asians. They are never dressed for hiking, always dressed for sight seeing. Lots of cameras. A walking stereotype. I can only assume that the pacific northwest is a popular vacation destination for Asians.

5. I overheard three different hiking parties discussing medications. This served as further evidence that this country of ours is pro pill popping (PPP). Enough already with the over-medication of everybody.

6. I saw two black guys on the trail. When I lived in SE Portland I could go months without ever seeing a person of color, yet two sightings on the trail. Is that racist? Am I allowed to notice and comment on things like that?

7. Women seem to enjoy multitasking their exercise with gossip. Every group of gals out on the trail was wearing workout clothes and chatting up a storm while they hiked. Is that sexist? Am I allowed to notice and comment on things like that?

Eventually I made it to the top of the the trail. In the interest of full disclosure I should say that I had a hard time reaching the top. I hate walking uphill, but lots of quiet swearing and a whole lot of sweating proved to be worth it. The landscape was trippy due to a fire back in the nineties, the view was fantastic, and the bag of trail mix was tremendous. Here's some photos from the top:

In the spirit of purchasing a t shirt at the rock show to prove to everyone you were there, I have inserted a photo of myself at the top to prove that, in fact, I was here:

On the way down the trail I spotted some petroglyphs. I love happening upon these things. They inspire wonder. Often when I come across these ancient wonders I wonder how much things have changed. What did this view look like when this rock was carved into? What must it have been like to be a Hunter and Gatherer? Did shooting stars scare people? Did Dwight and Jessie face discrimination as a same sex couple?

To Be Continued,

paulsen

Still Testing...

2010-06-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

Here's a photo of a head before the glaze is applied:

Here's a photo of the same head after the glaze has been applied:

This was another test to determine the proper way to display photos on here. I think I figured out how to place the text first followed by the photo. This will be important when it comes to photo punchlines.

Figuring This Thing Out,

paulsen

One more test for today...

2010-06-04T14:34:00.001-07:00

The goal for this post is to see if I can upload more than one photo. If this works successfully the two photos should be of new ceramic work.

Last Test Today,

paulsen

Another test...

2010-06-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

Here's another photo of some recent ceramic work. This is the first in my "horn" series.

Still Kicking the Tires,

paulsen

Testing again...

2010-06-04T14:13:00.000-07:00

This is another test. The goal for this operation is to have a blog that features a photo. I will attempt to place a photo of my recent ceramic work in this blog....

Okay. Looks like the photo appears above whatever you have written. I'd prefer the photo to be below the text. I'll try that on the next blog.

Still Test Driving my New Blog,

paulsen

Testing, testing, testing....

2010-06-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

This is a test. If this were an actual blog you would be reading about what I ate for breakfast. Since this is just a test I will inform the reader what I ate for lunch. I prepared a turkey/roast beef sandwich at approximately 1 PM. I heated both slices in the oven using the broiler heating option. One side of the sandwich had mushrooms hidden underneath a bed of roast beef and gouda, the other slice had turkey and gouda. Once the cheese had melted and the tips of the bread were toasty I removed the slices from the oven. I added mayo, tomatoes, sprouts, and lettuce to round out the flavor and texture of my sandwich. I ate the sandwich nude, meaning I did not accompany the sandwich with chips, which is my preferred method for eating sandwiches. The sandwich was delicious. Again, this was just a test of my new blog. In the interest of full disclosure I should clarify that I was not nude while eating the sandwich. The sandwich was without accompaniment. I hope no one was confused by this. I was fully clothed during the whole procedure.

Taking the New Blog for a Test Drive,

paulsen